Women Rise Up Against Ostracization of Widows

In the traditional Indian society, where the stronghold of patriarchy is seldom challenged and the being of a married woman is inseparably linked to her husband, the prospect of widowhood is the most frightening one for a woman. For an unfortunate widowed woman, the day of her husband’s death marks the beginning of the horrific saga of sorrow, ostracization, victimization, and loneliness that will most likely run unabated until her death. While she would still be mourning by her husband’s dead body, a cruel ritual would take place. An elder, most often a woman relative, would forcibly take away the mangalsutra, the nuptial necklace that a married woman wears as a mark of marital pride and devotion to her husband. So too the bangles on her wrists are broken and the sindoor, the vermillion on the parting of hairline that marks her ‘blessed’ marriage status, is removed.

The ritual of taking away the mangalsutra, breaking of bangles and removal of sindoor are symbolic of the effacing of her dignity and respect that she will ceaselessly suffer for the rest of her life. A widow will restart her life, if she decides to for the sake of her children, with the social sanction to wear only a white saree that is another cruel symbolism of her future bleached of all colours of happiness. Widowhood indeed is a trauma aggravated to excruciating levels by stigmatization and victimization.

“We are branded as Apashkuni (bad omen). We were always excluded from all cultural ceremonies like Haldikunkum, naming ceremony of children and weddings. Society always despised us”, said a widow Jayshree Shivaji Dete of Kus Khurd panchayat in Satara. In a society where cultural norms hold sway, widows are coerced to follow the unwritten code of conduct that is prescribed for them. Widows are destined to live on the margins with little interaction with others, including their own relatives. “Widows are rejected by the society and they have no significance in any community interaction. We have been treated very cruelly”, says another widow Malan Sanpat Pawar of Nizare panchayat of Satara district.

Appalled by the inhuman treatment that their widow sisters faced, women of four village panchayats – Nizare, Ganje, Kus Khurd, and Kus Budruk – in Satara district of Maharashtra rallied around the cause of human treatment to widows. They mustered the courage to fight for their hapless sisters and defy the heartless and harsh cultural practice. The women folk demanded the village Sarpanch (headman) of these panchayats to organize a special Gram Sabhas exclusively for women so that they can pass a resolution to protect widows’ rights and to stop victimization of widows.

As expected, the proposal of the village women to ban discriminatory widow practices did not have a smooth passage. “At first some men and some women of our village opposed the move saying that the observance of widow practice is based on religion and it should not be tampered with. They pressurized us to withdraw the proposal. However, when they realized that we were united and we were sufficiently informed about the law, their resistance faded”, said Ms. Shakuntala Bhilare, Deputy Sarpanch of Nazare village who led the campaign.

The consensus of women to fight against the inhuman widow practices emerged during the discussions of women’s federation that was raised and strengthened by the Jeevan programme of Poona Diocesan Social Service Society (PDSSS). Jeevan programme, supported by Misereor and Caritas India, seeks to empower women in the domains of agriculture and governance. One of the focuses of Jeevan is to help women organise special Gram Sabhas for raising women’s agenda in the village level governance forum.

At the demand of women, special Gram Sabhas were organised in all four sub-villages of Nizare Panchayat from 15 to 23 August 2022 and the proposal to ban discriminatory widow practices was approved in all these special Gram Sabhas. “After we learned the process of convening special Gram Sabha, we decided to unite ourselves in the fight for justice to widows”, said Shakuntala Narayan Dete one of the leaders of the women’s federation of Kus Budruk panchayat.

Women of the village decided to take the campaign further for protecting the interest of widows. “Along with the resolution to ban repressive widow practices, we also moved a proposal to include the names of women as co-owners of all property. Both resolutions were passed unanimously”, said Ms. Pushpa Shankar Manve, a woman leader of Kus Budruk panchayat.

“When the women got the platform of Women’s Gram Sabha which they had demanded, they boldly presented the resolution to ban discriminatory widow practices and passed it with a large majority”, said Ms. Anisha Kishor Dete, the Sarpanch of Kus Budruk Panchayat. The women of the village took the decision to ensure that no widow is persecuted and marginalised. They also decided to register police complaint in case of any exploitation and stigmatisation of widows.

“Due to our collective action 65 women have become owners of property in my Panchayat. Besides, in the last Republic day ceremony of our village held on 26 January, a widow for the first time hoisted the flag and took the salute”, said Ms. Pushpa of Kus Budruk proudly.

“We had suffered a lot due to widowhood. But our next generation will no longer have to see such bad days”, said Ms. Shanti Vasant Shedge, a widow of Nizare village.